This One Time I Turned 32 and Called a Time Out on Drinking

Well, let's just ignore the fact that I haven't written a post since February. My only excuse is travelling to Canada twice, moving into a new apartment, spending the month of July responsible for over 60 teens in Barcelona, constantly playing catch up with work and friends in between trips, organizing an educational fair for over 300 students in September, a quick work trip to Sao Paulo and well, that pretty much brings us to today. 2016 has kept me going at an unreal pace and I have very gladly been slowing things down since the beginning of October. Despite all of this, I'm not going to write about any of those things that kept me busy. I want to write about an article that I read recently and how it inspired me to take a break from drinking alcohol.

A couple of girlfriends on Facebook posted this article called, “The Real Reasons Why Women Drink.” I read it and immediately had a reaction, although I couldn't tell if it was positive or negative. I can't say that I wholeheartedly agreed or disagreed with the article, but it left me asking myself a lot of questions. I wanted to discuss it with friends and hear what they thought, so I shared it on Facebook and I brought it up with other women in conversation over the next few weeks.  In the article, the female author tries to connect feminism and women drinking. She suggests that women drink to cope with a sexist and macho world, where we are constantly trying to keep up with men and out do them, plus out drink them. She touches on modern culture surrounding women and alcohol, and describes her experience after abstaining from it. 

What I most liked about the article or what it most left me thinking about was HOW MUCH we drink and HOW MUCH we encourage each other to drink. Forget the gender aspect for a second, how many times do we finish a tough day with a drink and what if there are more tough days than not? How many times do we start the weekend off with a drink? (I've often said, that, that first drink on a Friday tastes the sweetest.) Then I started to think about how rarely I don´t drink. 

Girls dinner on a Sunday night, one of my last drinks.

Once a year I don´t drink for about four weeks, when I'm working with groups of teens abroad. Then another two to four weeks during the year I don't drink because I'm cleansing. The rest of the time, it's a birthday, holiday, trip, dinner, party, rough day, girl's night, date night, a Wednesday, and well the list of occasions to drink goes on and on. 

Even more frightening, I asked myself, “When is the last time you went more than four weeks without drinking?” I didn't even know what the answer was, probably never.

And that was when I decided to take a break from alcohol. It started September 1^st and it will end December 1^st – in total it will be 91 days. Here is what has happened during this dry three month journey:

Day 1 – We have a work dinner with colleagues that are in town visiting, and we are celebrating a successful student event with beers and pizza. I celebrate with coke and thankfully no one questions me. I feel a little anti-fun.

Day 5 – I wake up feeling hangover, but not from drinking, am I detoxing? Am I in withdrawal? I tell myself to get a grip. 

New conference friends in Sao Paulo - hotel bar hanging.

Day 8 – I´m texting a friend saying we should get together for drinks and catch up, I rewrite my text to say that we should do coffee instead.

Day 9 – I go to a dinner and show with girlfriends, it´s a set price menu that includes drinks, I wish my water were more expensive. 

Days 22-24 – I go to a conference in Brazil for work and everyone is drinking, the caipirinhas are flowing, non-stop. I feel super anti-fun and since these colleagues have just met me, they probably actually think I am anti-fun. 

 

Day 45 – My friends finally seem to know and remember that I’m not drinking. Thank goodness, I was getting tired of explaining myself every time we got together!

A very sober and glowing lumber Jill at Halloween!

Day 46 – My good friend Dan jumps on the bandwagon, "Yay, I’ve recruited!" We start drinking juice and pop in solidarity at get togethers with friends. 

Day 59 – I have so much fun at a Halloween house party, on a natural high, because I love costumes and dancing. I feel like a kid again. 

 

Day 62 – It’s November! I am plotting my first drink already, with a month still to go. My fantasy includes my favourite bar for craft beer and a nice amber on tap *drool* (insert low lighting and a cute boy, it is a fantasy after all!)

 In addition to these moments, I have declined invitations to day-trips and events, three bodega visits and two craft beer festivals to be precise. I thought this was the perfect time of year to do this experiment, after my birthday and before Christmas, but it turns out we drink up all year long! 

Besides repeatedly sharing with people why I’m not drinking, only after they ask, the second most common question has been, “But, did you drink a lot before!?” People seem to think that I must have been on the verge of alcoholism if I thought I needed such an extended break. Interesting?

What does it all mean though? Have I learnt something profound? What was gained by repeatedly declining alcoholic beverages? Although I’ve had these questions in mind the entire time, I feel like they’ll be better answered once the three months is up and I get to choose when to accept and when to decline a drink. 

So with ten days to go, I raise my water bottle and say, “Salud!" I will report back in December. 

Canta, La Vida Es Una Fiesta!

I can't believe I let so much time go by without writing. Since my last post I have visited Canada for one week, then travelled to Spain for one month to lead a Spanish language program for teens, and since then I have come back to Montevideo, started a new job and helped pull off a successful event where 300 people attended! Wow! A lot has gone done in four months!

Right now, I am excited to celebrate my birthday this week, and I am simultaneously wondering if by turning 31 the title of my blog needs an edit!? I am also excited for my first visit to Buenos Aires this coming weekend! Happy Birthday To Me! And I am planning a one year anniversary party for the beginning of September to mark my one year living in Uruguay! Also coming up in September is a visit from a good girlfriend for two weeks. I'm super excited to show her the city, have girl time, and have some T.O. vibes here with me!

So as you can see, there is a lot to be thankful for and lots to celebrate! As the popular (only in Uruguay) song by VI-EM says "Canta, la vida es una fiesta" and that has been my anthem since June!  

Okay, so more details and updates...since I haven't written in so long! The visit to Canada was energizing, it was SO NICE to see family and friends. I got my fill of hugs, ate almost all of my favourite and most missed foods and even found time to be productive, aka: a dentist visit. Although the trip was a whirlwind and I could have spent more time with everyone I saw, I left with an overflowing heart. 

A tanned and happy staff in Marbella!

Everything in between that trip and leaving for Spain is a blur. It was only a couple of weeks and I was a mad person trying to wrap up work in Montevideo and getting myself and my team ready for the trip. The actual time leading the trip flew by as well. A lot of people wonder what this job I do with teens and touring every summer is like...it’s hard to describe. It is the best job, truly,  it is a mixture of utter exhaustion and adrenaline. We had an amazing group of teens this year.  They were a kind, smart, and hilarious group of young people. We also had a wicked staff team that had so much fun being together we would exhaust ourselves and stay up too late just so we could keep laughing and hanging out! Spain also meant eating delicious foods. I indulged in cortados multiple times a day and gelato nearly everyday. Thank goodness we walk a lot on these trips! I also got to see my good friend Ari and she got to tell me in person that she is expecting! Que felicidad! Lastly, my love of Spain never dwindles and one day I simply won’t get on the plane to leave. (Curious about what being a Westcoast Connection Trip Director for 50 teens is really like? Watch this video!)

Our first ever LAE Fair/Feria in Montevideo! Go team celeste!

After indulging in the VIP lounge at the Barcelona airport and sitting beside a handsome Uruguayan stranger for my 12 hour return flight, I arrived back to Montevideo in time for the last week of July. I was excited to get back to work, see my students, catch up with friends and get back to regular life. I was especially excited to start a new job as a student advisor for study abroad programs! Currently, I am continuing to teach with Plan Ceibal (the remote teaching program through the government) and in the afternoons I am working with Latino Australia Education (LAE) and helping students figure out how to study abroad. My first few weeks back I jumped right into planning an educational fair here, which turned out to be a huge success. I still have a lot of learning to do, but this new job is already expanding my professional vocabulary, and plus, I always love a new challenge!   

 

I think that's all. My heart's still wild and free, which proves to be good and bad at times. I am still in the same apartment, but will definitely need to be in a new place before the end of the year, since they want to sell this place. And as happy as I am here, I'm still counting my rewards points for a potential visit 'home'!?

Promise to write sooner!

Besos!

Travel and Friendship

When you're 'away' people constantly ask you what you miss from home. Well, I don't miss things or places, I miss people (and food, but that's for another blog post). April marks my eighth month in Uruguay. It doesn't feel like eight months at all, it actually feels like a lot less. I was blessed in March to have my Mom visiting for a whole month! If anything can ward off homesickness while you're abroad, it's a visit from your Mommy. Plus, I recently confirmed that I get to go home quickly in June to visit family and friends in Toronto. I'm so excited for hugs and time with loved ones! 

When I think about my quick visit in June, a big part of that excitement comes from being able to see my friends! I've been especially thinking about them lately, the amazing people I get to call friends, how important those relationships are, and the positive energy and support that we give each other, even from thousands of miles away! 

Jennifer and I make each other laugh with breathy voice recordings,
as we hustle through our days in Toronto and Montevideo!  

Since I moved to Uruguay I've had so much BIG and good news flooding in from my friends back home. I've had two really close girlfriends also move abroad, one to Belgium and the other to Tanzania. We all studied development and graduated in 2007, so it’s a beautifully fulfilled plan for us to all be living abroad right now. It's just like we had imagined in our 20's! I have another friend that went back to school at 28 and is just about to graduate from his four year degree program and start his dream career in urban planning. Another close girlfriend recently told me she is expecting baby number two this summer. And another good girlfriend just took the plunge and moved into a brand new duplex near her work. Plus, I have two girlfriends planning to visit me here in 2015, could there be a better thing to look forward to!? And those are just a few examples! 

They say that when you go abroad and then come home you'll find things haven't changed much. I would have to disagree this time around. When I was in Toronto a large portion of my friends were single, we had been career focused for years, without homes or children, we were holding out for the 'next step', but maybe not entirely sure what that was. Now,  I see my friends making big moves, big decisions, and I am really excited for them! I feel surrounded by intelligent, strong minded, and determined people that I am lucky to call friends. Despite the distance, they support and inspire me consistently. 

Simply put, I've been feeling really happy for my friends lately. It makes me happy to see them living out their dreams and loving their decisions. I miss them like crazy and the distance only reminds me of how irreplaceable they are. The hour long skype sessions, random facebook messages, real mail, and whats app voice recordings, all help to maintain the connection, but I know the connection would still be there with or without those things. These are friendships where you could be anywhere in the world and you will always be important to each other and you will always support each other. It doesn't get more real than that!

To be fair, you meet a lot of very cool people when you're travelling and Uruguay has been no exception. I am constantly making new friends and getting to know new people. They support me in other ways, we explore together, we look out for each other, we help with bouts of loneliness or heartbreak. I think this blog post may need a Travel and Friendship Part Two, dedicated to the relationships you build while abroad as they are also unique.

Veneise made her home my home as I transitioned out of Toronto!
#forevergrateful

To my friends at home and in other parts of the world, I love and miss you guys and will always be grateful for how you listened and encouraged me in the year leading up to my moving abroad. If I had different friends, I may not have made it here. I was a crazy person with big dreams for most of 2014 and you put up with me and all of my worries. Who are we kidding, I am generally always crazy about something and you always put up with me! That’s love! 

See you in June amigos! 

Surfing the Waves of the Culture Shock Cycle

This week marks six months that I have been living in Uruguay. The beginning of March also marks the end of the summer holiday and the return to school, work, and routine. Coincidentally, my Mommy will also be arriving in one week, for a one month visit. Thus, making March a big month. As I reflect on the six months gone by, what I consider to be a summer of a lifetime, look forward to the routine of work, and get excited to see my Mom....I can't help but wonder what part of the culture shock cycle I'm living in!?  The longest I've ever been away from home is six months total, so I'm officially entering uncharted waters!

Can you hear the call of the drums? #candombe

The idea of culture shock and the cycle or waves you go through while abroad was first introduced to me while in University. Later on, working with students and in international settings I became more familiar with these ideas. Although the number of stages and their titles can vary depending on what you read, the most common ones are the following. The first one is the honeymoon phase when you first arrive and you are starry eyed and everything is bright and new. My very first blog post about 'First Impressions' was filled with honeymoon like observations. For the most part this phase is over for me. I get brief honeymoon type moments now, from time to time, when I take in something new, like scenery or a cultural event. Most recently the desfile de llamadas, the big drumming parade for carnival here in February, wowed me, as it was all completely new!

It was all glitter, dancing, and the beat of the drum at Carnival.

The second phase is culture shock, where you are constantly comparing things to home and you find even simple tasks difficult or frustrating. This phase is also associated with hostility, depression, and homesickness. I distinctively remember the very first time I went abroad, to study for three months in Havana, that at about the half way mark I was thinking 'why did I come  here?' and 'I just want to go home'. Needless to say, I stuck it out and it is one of my most treasured experiences. Now having travelled more and being a little older my thoughts aren't quite so dramatic, but of course I have lows. Sometimes I have what I call 'bad days' here.  They are usually triggered by something small, like feeling misunderstood, your debit card not working in 10 different ATM's or just wanting to be around the people back home that you love and that know you so well. The bad days are few and far between and they are usually trumped by really incredible moments where you feel so lucky and so blessed to be as happy as you are. I had a mixture of frustration and really euphoric moments this summer while balancing not working with loads of beach time and sight seeing.

One of those bliss-ed out moments from this summer. Exploring the interior of the country near Minas.

The next phase has to do with acceptance and integration, this is the recovery and adjustment phase. Here, you get into a routine and you feel like you are successfully living 'normally' in your new country. I suspect that this phase will happen more fully as I get into the routine of work this month and in the coming months. By the end of March I will be teaching English at two schools, plus maintaining activities like zumba, bachata lessons, hanging out at the Coffee Shop, and finishing an online course. Life will be busy and I think the integration will feel more complete with this new and fuller schedule.

I am really excited to start working regularly here and to get back into a routine that feels less traveller like and more citizen like. I am even more excited to see my Mom! I am sure that her being here will in a way 'hold me over' for a few more months without getting horribly homesick. It will be really fun and special to be able to share parts of my new life here with her. I already have my colleagues at work, 'my work moms', and my friends at the coffee shop excited to meet her!

In short, the adventure keeps evolving and the gratitude continues. As for the cycle, or the waves, you truly do ride them. I think that with so much ongoing change you can't help but continuously be shifting and adjusting, moving back and forth within the cycle. With all of this in mind, I'm especially excited for the next six months, because I'm potentially building up to feeling really at home here and that would be an all new experience/achievement! The final phase is mastery after-all!

Welcome 2015! / Bienvenidos a 2015!

Homemade pizza cooked on the grill, de-lish!

As the clock struck midnight here in Uruguay, I was a couple of hours outside of the city in a small beach town. We were a small group of thirty-somethings ringing in the new year with bursting bellies, topped up drinks, lots of fresh air, good music, and of course fireworks. We rented a humble cottage a few blocks from the beach, so that we were guaranteed our first few days of 2015 would be spent in the sun and sand! We also grilled everything in sight for five days straight, including corn on the cob, red peppers cut in half with a fried egg in the centre, provolone cheese, and even pizza. (They throw everything on the grill here and it's all delicious!) Although the sun didn't really come out until January 3rd, there was no shortage of good food, drinks, or company! 

Ringing in the first few days of the new year at the beach!

On a more reflective note, I was feeling grateful and relaxed as the year came to a close. I'm not sure what I enjoy most about celebrating the new year. Looking back on the wins and losses of the past twelve months or looking ahead and planning for another equally fulfilling year. There is no doubt that 2014 was a big year for me. I had a lot of help and I used all of my resources, in every sense of the word, to make one of my dreams a reality. Thus my gratitude as the year came to an end. Looking ahead though, I couldn't help but ask, 'how could 2015 compete with moving to Uruguay!?'

Well, so far the year is off to a great start! Being an English teacher, I have been on holidays since just before Christmas and classes don't start again until the beginning of March. I began the new year on holiday, in the heat of summer, in a country filled with beautiful coastlines and beaches.  Hello 2015!

Wishing you lots of AMOR for 2015!

There is an expression here when you like the vibe or energy of a place or person. People say that it or they have buena onda. Literally, it would translate into 'good wave', but it means a good or positive vibe. Well that's how I am feeling about the year ahead and being in Uruguay. I am in the right place, just where I need to be, meeting so many new and incredible people and I am feeling the good vibes all around me! It's exciting to not know how the year ahead will unfold. It's exciting to say 'yes' to new experiences and to be open. Personally, I feel ready and I can't wait to see how this year plays out. It is sure to include new challenges, adventures, many new friends, more beautiful landscapes, and so many more great memories - what more could I ask for out of the year ahead!?

Wishing everyone a very full and fulfilling year. May the buena onda find you wherever you are!



P.S. Looking for a little astrological direction as you start the new year? Here's my favourite author of all things astro!

First Impressions

They say that when you meet someone first impressions are made within the first 10 seconds, but how about when you 'meet' a new city? Do first impressions count? Can it be love at first sight?

I arrived to Montevideo on Friday night. My first impressions of the airport and in some ways therefore of the city, were all very positive. The airport was gleaming white with orange features. It was shiny, modern, new, and very clean. I especially enjoyed it's emptiness and cleanliness after more than 24 hours of travel and having already been in four other more congested and well trafficked airports along the way. Although Montevideo was off to a good start, proper introductions to the city centre weren't done until Sunday afternoon.

Sunday we walked over 13,000 steps (according to my trusted step counter). I was shown the city highlights, albeit quickly, by my Aunt and Cousin, who have lived in neighbouring Canelones their whole lives. We visited the boardwalk along the water (La Rambla), did a quick walk through one of the main parks, Parque Rodo, and it's very popular weekend market. We visited the main Plazas, including Plaza de la Independencia and a park bench lunch stop in Plaza Fabini. We walked through the old city, visited the legislative palace and finished off the day at a beautiful and modern indoor market (MAM).

Although I 'saw' a lot, it was a whirlwind and if I had to give first impressions I feel like they would be uninformed and that it would be too soon. On top of this, seeing a South American city on a Sunday is like visiting someones house while they are napping. Most of the store doors and windows were boarded up and the streets were nearly empty.

For now, here is what I can say with certainty. The streets are lined with large gorgeous old trees that add loads of character. They have just started a recycling program in the city, the bins are shiny and new. The streets are a bit littered and the buses leave a trail of black fumes behind them. The colours as the sun sets are unreal, the brightest pinks I've ever seen. People walk around EVERYWHERE with their thermos of hot water and mate, there is no where you can't carry it with you! There is still so much to explore! There are countless barrios (neighbourhoods), each with their own characteristics.
 

Empty tree lined streets and recycling bins in the distance.

In other words, I have only scraped the surface and I can't wait to know the city in my own way. I can't wait to discover my favourite place to have coffee, my favourite park to sit and have lunch or read a book, the best vintage shops and so on!

Many more introductions and firsts are to be had.